My wife likes a drink after a long day.

She has a drink problem and I don’t know what to do about it.

She doesn’t drink that much. We have a well stocked drinks cabinet that contains pretty much the same bottles that it has contained since we got married. The cherry brandy has hardly been touched. The Advocaat gets sniffed once in a blue moon. There are a few decent bottles of whisky that get to blink every now and again when they are brought out into the light and there’s a large bottle of Cointreau that my wife bought for a desert she was experimenting with. Judging by how much is left in the bottle it must have been one of her rare failed culinary experiments. In the fridge sits plenty of beer and there’s always the odd bottle of new world wine knocking around.

Oh, and there’s some green stuff. Neither of us has a clue what it is. I’m not even sure it was green when we first acquired it.

You’d have thought that would be a sufficient range from which to find something to flop down with after a long day having her nails painted, but no. What’s her tipple of choice? Kiddush wine.

She likes the sweetness. Is there any other component to kiddush wine?

She tells me it’s cheap and it’s kosher so why am I complaining?

I wasn’t complaining until this Friday evening when I went to fill the bechers for dinner and found that the last bottle of kiddush wine was empty. I was furious. Friday night dinner without proper, horrible kiddush wine is not Friday night dinner. We may as well have cancelled Shabbat.

Saying the bracha over a Snowball isn’t quite the same is it?